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1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. Back up my hard drive ? How do I put it in reverse ?
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted and used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs
and blame it on the higher cost of living.
20. Just remember if it wasn't for gravity, we'd all fall off. ( Or up)
21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
somethingright, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it ?
24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world
25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
26. The good things that come to those that wait may be the things left
by those who got there first.
27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
33.I wish the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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